Wednesday, February 3, 2010

February 1


(Julie's beautiful wrapping)


So, normally I would never put a picture up on here like this of myself, but I just had to, because this is one of the few pictures I have of me and Kennedy, where neither of us are making really weird faces.
And, this is a post about my birthday. I have been dreading turning 27. I know to some, that is still young, but to me, it feels so old. Not just the number, but it is kind of a realization of how far I thought I would be in my life at this point. I've been thinking a lot about this the last 6 months or so. I really thought my life would be different. Some things I just didn't do, and some things are completely out of my control.
I really thought I would have children by now. In fact, I often think I should have a six year old, a four year old, a two year old, and a baby. Crazy huh? I know I can't control these things, but yet I still feel like I have been denied.
I don't usually write about my everyday thoughts on here, which is kind of weird. I never write about not having children, yet that is usually what's on my mind. I try to only write about the happy things that happen to me. So there you have it, a glimpse of what I think.
As I mentioned, I was dreading this birthday, but I actually think it was one of the best. Mike and I went down to Corona on Saturday, where we had a great party with my family. It was so much fun seeing everyone! Bre even put Kennedy in a special outfit for me! I got many thoughtful gifts, but having everyone there was more than a gift.
Sunday, we headed over to Riverside to celebrate Kevin's and my birthday. Again, it was so great! I cannot express how spoiled I felt this last weekend, and how loved I felt. I am so grateful to have such a wonderful family on both sides. Thank you to everyone!


10 comments:

Ashley said...

Sounds like you had a wonderful birthday weekend! And I know what you mean about the children. I know that sounds funny coming from me, but we've all been asked to go through certain things in our lives. You still have the opportunity though, so don't give up! And it seems as though you are a great aunt, which I'm sure Kennedy and Noah appreciate even though they can't tell you. :)

AB said...

I love you and I'm so glad that you had a wonderful birthday. AND I recommend sharing more. You have good thoughts. We like to hear them!

Breana and Jordan Holmes said...

you deserve to be spoiled..all the time!

Traci Elizabeth said...

Happy birthday...you are adorable :)

Amy F. P. said...

Happy Birthday Dejah! I'm glad you had a good birthday.

Cookies and Crumbs said...

Happy Belated Birthday Deja! I can totally relate to your thoughts. It really consumes your life when you are faced with a HUGE challenge that the rest of the world seems to accomplish so easy. I have spent so many hours crying my heart out because it seems so unfair that most women can conceive without even trying. My 2 are complete miracles, and yours will be too.

A Mommy, A Daddy, A Baby: A Blog said...

Dejah- you are such an inspiration to me! I'm glad that you felt comfortable sharing all of this with us. We love you and pray for you all the time. I think you're future looks pretty darn good. Happy Birthday!

Carrie said...

Happy Birthday Dejah! Julie is so crafty-cool with her gifts!

I am glad that you shared. I have often thought about you and how you must feel. I remember feeling that way; it is always there in the back of your mind. I know it is no consolation, but I keep you in my prayers.

Lisa said...

Dejah, I'm glad you shared your thoughts and that we had an opportunity to talk about it together too. I, too, think about you and how you must feel and I share some of your worries with my own life too. There are things in my life that have not occurred how I planned or wanted. But be faithful, as others are praying and hoping that joy for you too.

Pitt-Meisingers said...

i'm glad you had a great birthday! as one who knows exactly how you feel... keep the faith it will happen one way or another. Becoming a mother for the first time at 41 was a miracle... now i feel lots of guilt that Will doesn't have a sibling... i think about it everyday... and listen to his constant prayers about having a brother and two sisters. Ah, the trials of life! Hang in there!! We are praying for you!