Thursday, March 21, 2013

Broke

Today I feel broke in every sense. Financially, emotionally, and physically. On Monday, we found out that again, we are not pregnant. Everything I've been doing for the last 8 months didn't matter. This time we did a frozen embryo transfer. Again, everything looked great. Mike was really hopeful, and almost positive that it was going to work. I was a little more skeptical, but still hopeful. I know Heavenly Father could make it happen, but I didn't know if He would.
Between medications acupuncture, fees, and the transfer itself, we went through everything we had saved, and a lot of our credit cards. I'm not sure when we can afford to try this again, which makes it even harder.
When we got the results on Monday, I was actually doing pretty good. I had a feeling that I would just be emotionally better if it failed again, and for the most part, I have been. I think part of me was in shock. I kept thinking my doctor had the wrong results. Today however, I can't hold it together. I really don't know what more we could have done to make this work, and neither does my doctor.
I'm hurt, and I'm angry, and I'm broken.